Monthly Archives: February 2011

Are you in a benevolent sexist relationship?

Photo by Ambro from

It was found in Granadan research that men were exonerated from sexual violence within the couple as long as the man was kind to his wife.

To explain the concept of “benevolent sexism”, it is used to describe when a man has apparently “positive” ideas and attitudes towards women, but these assumptions are based on the assumption that women are weaker than men and need their protection.

Under this guise, sexual violence within the couple is exonerated as, since the wife is his partner, it is his right to expect her to satisfy him and her duty to do so. As long as the man is protecting the woman and fulfilling this duty, it is acceptable.

What is important here is that this protection and affection might not be considered innocent, as it is the result of basically sexist views that women need their protection.

This goes back to the age-old premise that woman are inferior in every and cannot live without a man. What do you think about this research?

Photo by Ambro from


Position of the Month – Basic Doggie Style

By Seedfeeder

I have to admit that this position is one of my favorites!

It’s all about the woman and the man giving in to their primal animal-like instincts. Both partners are on their knees, with the woman on all-fours and the man usually gripping her hips from behind.

The position is great for men because they get ultimate penetration while they also have an unobstructed view as the penetrator. They also have greater control over the thrusting, and can be more vigorous. The man also has the use of his hands, which can wander all over your body, tweaking your nipples, massaging your back or stimulating your clitoris while still getting the thrusting right.

For the woman, it is one of the best positions to hit the g-spot, especially if the man puts his legs on either side of yours, pushes his weight forward and rides down at you with his penis in a downward position.

What I like most about this position is that the man can also grab a hold of one of your shoulders as he thrusts, or tug at your hair to bring out the animal in you, or easily manoeuvre you into a standing or kneeling position with ease.

Grr! Go get him! 🙂

Why do you have a low libido?

There are mainly 10 things that might be the cause of a lower libido if you think that your sex life is lacking. An occasional drop in your sex drive is normal, and varies from person to person, as do the reasons for lowered sex drive. These can be:

– Illness: It goes without saying that you won’t feel sexy when you’re nose is stuffy and red, your eyes are swollen and your throat is croaky. Pre- or post-menstrual stress will also cause a drop in your sex drive.

– A new baby: Well, this one is also pretty obvious! If there’s a new baby in the house, your constant attention is required by them, aside from waking up every three hours to feed the bundle of joy, lactating and being completely unsure of why they won’t stop crying. Also, because your oestrogen levels are now much lower, your sex drive also lowers and your vaginal walls could dry up, leading to painful sex.

– Stress: another no-brainer – all your energy, including sexual energy, is sucked up when you under stress, whether it be at work, home or elsewhere.

– Medication: drugs, such as antidepressants, medication for hypertension, sedatives and birth control pills, can decrease your libido.

– Drugs and alcohol: indulging in too many drugs and too much alcohol might result in more sexual encounters, but in the long run your sex drive will be affected.

– Lifestyle: changes in lifestyle, from changing partners, moving homes, being on a diet, can all change your libido. Even though these are positive lifestyle changes, they can affect your libido in a negative way, because they also count as stress.

– Depression: if you’re unhappy, sex will not be a priority.

– Body image: if you don’t feel comfortable in your body, sex will not be a pleasing experience for you and you would rather hide yourself away than be exposed in such an intimate act. This is why it is so important to love your body!

– Problems in your relationship: there are days when you’re really not interested in your partner’s sexual satisfaction, but if your libido is low for a long time, consider whether there are any issues in your relationship that need to be dealt with. If you’re not happy or there’s tension between you and your partner, your sexual desire will fall.

– Getting older: sex drive can change along with the changing hormones you experience as a woman getting older and heading towards or past menopause. This all depends on the person though, because in some cases sexual drive increases with age.

So, only once you can count out all of these issues as possible reasons for a low libido, should you consider being treated for FSD!

Photo by vichie81 from

Personal Experience – The Kitchen

When my lover and I first met, one of my fantasies featured me waiting in his kitchen, as he sneaks up from behind and suddenly takes me, sending his fingers exploring up my shirt and down my pants, culminating in a steamy session against the counter.

I was pleasantly surprised to have this fantasy fulfilled not too long ago.

Though not surprised the way I’d imagined I would be, there was still surprise in my reaction as he approached me in the kitchen and promptly removed my trousers, only to turn me around, lean me against the counter and take me from behind.

I gripped the sides of the counter as I felt him fill me up, and I allowed the waves of my fantasy to improve the experience. But despite the fantasy, turning around to face him with my bum on the counter – surround him with my legs and thighs and look into his face as he enjoyed himself just as much – was strangely more satisfying than the fantasy itself.

Your fantasy? And have you enacted it?

Word of the Month – Probe

/proĘŠb/ [prohb] verb
–verb (used with object)
to search into or examine thoroughly; question closely: to probe one’s conscience.
to examine or explore with a probe.
–verb (used without object)
to examine or explore with or as if with a probe.