Q&A: Struggling to orgasm

Dear Purdita

I’m struggling to have an orgasm. I’ve been in a relationship for a few years now, and I didn’t have a problem in the beginning, but it seems I’m struggling more now. My lover is getting worried because he thinks that I don’t have feelings for him anymore. What do I do?


Dear Worried

I would like to encourage you to stop worrying, and remember that as you grow older and change, so does your body and the way it responds to different stimuli. Have you tried to speak to your lover to tell them that you need to try something different? Explain to him that you still love him very much, and would like to try out a few different techniques. You can try everything from clitoral stimulation and oral sex to different positions. If your lover is worried too, and truly loves you, he will jump at the opportunity to please you. In every way!

Good luck!



11yos being provided with condoms

I am of the firm belief that children should not be having sex until they are adults. Sex brings along a whole bunch of emotions, beliefs and experiences that children should really not be worrying about in their formative years.

Do you agree?

Well, apparently 11 year olds in Philadelphia in the US don’t.

Health officials apparently have no choice in the matter, and have been forced to provide children as young as 11 with condoms.

The city has the highest number of sexually active teens below the age of 13 among big cities. Children are cutting school to have sex – even to have mini-orgies – while others don’t even bother leaving the school grounds.

So now I am faced with a conundrum, because I believe that these children are way too young to be even thinking of sex, nevermind having sex! But they are, obviously, and condoms will at least protect them from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

What is the problem here? Why are children who are so young engaging in sexual acts? Is it parenting? Is it lack of supervision? Is it too much sex on television? Is it access to porn? What do you think?

Who should be responsible for taking the pill?

Contraceptive Wikimedia Commons Anka GrzywaczThere are many contraceptive options on the market nowadays; one of these is the male pill.

But how many people are interested in this form of contraception?

According to research by a Dr Susan Walker, only half of the women and men she questioned said they would use the male pill when it came on the market.

The women were apparently worried that their partners would forget to take the pill, while some of the men believed taking the pill would detract from their masculinity, because a contraceptive pill was culturally associated with women.

Strangely, men weren’t concerned about the pill having an effect on them biologically, such as causing infertility, but the fact that the pill was associated with femininity. On the other end of the scale, some men believed that taking the pill would be the more responsible way of practising masculinity.

If you’re a woman, how do you feel about your man taking the pill, and if you’re a man, how would you feel taking the pill?

Image by Anka Grzywacz, WikiMedia Commons

Say you’re happy

Photo by Lavoview, from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I know that sometimes nothing seems to go right; sometimes you just feel ugly and untalented, but just remember that it’s not true!

There is nothing in this world more true than you – just the way you are.

What you need to do is say you’re happy, and you’re happy.

Photo by Lavoview from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Baby boomer parents supporting their adult children

Maybe I’m just being too judgemental, but I feel sad for all those parents still looking after their children who are way into adulthood already. I know this hasn’t anything to do with sex, but … in a way it does, because sex is about relationships and this is about relationships…

According to a recent study, over half of the Baby Boom-generation’s mothers support their children financially. Of the women who took part of the survey, nine percent said they had their children return to live with them for indefinite periods, while 12 percent were responsible for their adult children’s financial well-being. A shocking 31 percent of them had children who came back home with the intent of becoming independent, but they were still financially supporting them.

I think this is really horrible. Parents work their whole lives to help their children grow into responsible adults, and then they’re repaid by having to use the money they’ve saved for years for their own retirement to continue looking after their children.

I wonder what it is about that generation of parents – what was it in the manner that they raised their children to make it so their children aren’t financially independent?

Perhaps it has nothing to do with this, and everything to do with the fact that living in today’s and age is difficult and expensive. But if some people are making it without their parents, why can’t all of them? Maybe these baby boomer parents were so happy to have children that they let them get away with everything, gave them everything and continue to do so.

What are your views?