Tag Archives: explore

When he’s away

Woman faceThere are certainly times when your lover is not with you for a while.

I know you miss him terribly – the bed is cold; the room is silent; you are thinking about him and missing his smell, his taste…

As you lie there, you decide you need some satisfaction. But, if you’re in a committed relationship, is there any satisfaction to be had?

Of course there is! As I’ve explained before, satisfying yourself is the first step to discovering your own sexuality. The most important points to remember are:

– There’s nothing wrong with exploring your body;

– Do what makes you feel the best: I know my lover has these images in his head that women use practically their whole hands inside and around their delicate areas (a la pornography), but if all you need is a little clitoral stimulation, that’s ok!

– Breathe deeply – this intensifies the feeling and gives you more of an intense orgasm.

Things you can try include using a well-purchased toy – if you like them, of course – rub yourself through your panty to give you that first-time feel, restrict your legs (ie we all open our legs when we enjoy making love – try to keep your legs open-yet-closed), or try masturbating in a different part of the house, like in your office chair or in the bath.

Let me know if you’ve tried these techniques? And how did they feel?

Touch and touch some more

Never underestimate the power of touch. Touch is the basis of any relationship, and of sex in all its forms.

Make sure you touch your lover aplenty – on the arm, on the face, on the neck, even on their unmentionables (if you’re comfortable with having your’s touched in return!)

Touch is a way to tell you lover you’re attracted to them – that you want to be close to them.

Sometimes this is all the encouragement they need to move from worrying about whether or not to initiate sex to taking you right then and there.

Satisfying Yourself

I believe that self-satisfaction is fundamental to one’s sexuality.

Exploring your body and discovering what it is that you like with regards to pleasure will not only allow you to be aware of your body and learn to love it, but also how to show your lover how to please you.

If you have never satisfied yourself before, why not try it now? It’s not difficult, and I’m certain once you discover the in’s and out’s  of what your own body wants and needs, it is something you might consider doing at least once a week. And if you really can’t wait. Or if you’re bored.

I find that it helps me to sleep.

Remember that your body is your own, and there is nothing wrong with loving it and yourself.

If you’re shy, start by touching yourself through your underwear – this is how I started, and I still find a lot of pleasure in being conservative yet still finding out what I like.

Pleasuring myself sexually has also become an important part of myself and my lover’s sex life. Remember that it can be a turn-on for him as well.