Tag Archives: general

Say you’re happy

Photo by Lavoview, from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I know that sometimes nothing seems to go right; sometimes you just feel ugly and untalented, but just remember that it’s not true!

There is nothing in this world more true than you – just the way you are.

What you need to do is say you’re happy, and you’re happy.

Photo by Lavoview from FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Q&A: I’m not getting turned on…what do I do?

Dear Purdita

I haven’t been able to get in the mood…what is wrong with me, and what can I do?

Please help

Dear Please help

The first thing you need to consider is that there is nothing wrong with  you! Are you stressed? Are you tired? Are your emotions in chaos? Are you going through that time of the month, or other hormonal changes?

All these physical aspects will have an effect on your libido – many people call this female sexual dysfunction now, but I believe that many of these issues are the result of other physical and psychological issues. Here are some tips on changing your situation.

If none of these things are causing your distress, it is possible that you need to see a professional to deal with your personal issues.

Good luck!


#Itsnotrapeif trend is heartbreaking

In South Africa today and yesterday, a strange trend appeared on Twitter with the hashtag #itsnotrapeif.

The trend was caused by people on Twitter using the hashtag with examples, such as “#itsnotrapeif she agrees to have the baby” or “#itsnotrapeif you were “celibate” … stop being so stingy”; there was even one saying that #itsnotrapeif she’s a lesbian and you’re trying to correct her.

I have no clue why this sort of thing started trending, or why anyone would take part in such a horrible “joke” because the reality in South Africa is that several women and girls get raped every minute here.

Corrective rape is also a massive trend in this country. The worst thing is that these crimes are being ignored by the state and the legal system. In just one example, Eudy Simelane was gang-raped, brutally beaten and stabbed 25 times across her body.

Women are targeted every day for being openly lesbian, and 86% of black lesbians in the Western Cape walk outside every day in fear of sexual assault. There are as many as 10 new cases of corrective rape every week.

Following the trend, Rape Crisis released a statement saying that the tag is “devastating for the rights of survivors”. So many women, men and children are subjected to “sexual penetration” without consent every day, and that there are these people who openly make fun of their plight is sad for humankind.

What is glaringly obvious in our country is that rape is not seen as a crime by those who are meant to help us – we are one of the countries in the world who take part in victim-blaming, and this goes for lesbians, women walking in the streets at night and even children. Rape is simply “sex without consent”, regardless of whom was raped, what they were wearing, how drunk they were, or any other reason. Forced sex cannot be justified.

This issue makes me so sad because it proves that humans are just not evolving into the beings of love that we are meant to be.

If you are in need of support or advice, or would like to make a comment, visit Rape Crisis for more information.

Otherwise, what is your view on the issue?

More men undergoing cosmetic surgery

We always complain as women that we are tired of society’s standards for attractiveness being applied to us, but perhaps it is the same for men?

Besides, they are confronted by lean, lithe men wherever they look: television ads, films, Sports Illustrated and other magazines, even pornography – and their wives and girlfriends are daydreaming about the “ruggedly handsome” men they read about in their erotic novels. Why would they not feel intimidated by these chiselled men?

And it seems that, for some men, this intimidation has worn off their esteem to make them want to go for the ole’ nip-tuck.

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, the number of men opting for facelifts increased by 14% last year compared to 2009. Men also underwent over 1.1 million cosmetic procedures. The fastest-growing cosmetic procedures among men are: facelifts; ear surgery; soft tissue fillers; botulinum toxin type A; liposuction; male breast reduction :O ; Eyelid surgery; dermabrasion; laser hair removal; and laser treatment of leg veins.

Curiously, many of the men are known as “men’s men” – the kind of men you wouldn’t expect to have even considered such procedures.

So girls, you’re not the only ones! Does this make you consider having cosmetic surgery more seriously?

Dressing for success

I’ve often wondered why there are so many teenage girls out there who dare to bare as much as possible when they go out. What is it about dressing scantily that makes them think their dress sense will inspire admiration for their fashion sense?

Well, admittedly they’re only doing it to impress the male halves of our species, who catcall and whistle to show their admiration. Why is it that this is the kind of attention they think they should be getting?

But at the heart of it all, we have to ask, as Jennifer Moses asks, “Why do so many of us not only permit our teenage daughters to dress like this – like prostitutes, if we’re being honest with ourselves – but pay for them to do it with our AmEx cards?”

If we do deplore the way these girls, and perhaps our very own daughters, dress, why do we not deplore our own insanity in actually purchasing these items for them?

I am actually of the opinion that some parents of today would rather drop their daughters off at the nearest mall with their very own purchasing card just to get them out of the way for the day. So the parents are not technically the ones “allowing” their children to buy the clothes because they’re not actually there to monitor the clothes being bought. However, handing their children money for the day out or their own credit cards – a la Paris Hilton – is facilitating them.

What do you think?