Tag Archives: libido

Q&A: I’m not getting turned on…what do I do?

Dear Purdita

I haven’t been able to get in the mood…what is wrong with me, and what can I do?

Please help

Dear Please help

The first thing you need to consider is that there is nothing wrong with  you! Are you stressed? Are you tired? Are your emotions in chaos? Are you going through that time of the month, or other hormonal changes?

All these physical aspects will have an effect on your libido – many people call this female sexual dysfunction now, but I believe that many of these issues are the result of other physical and psychological issues. Here are some tips on changing your situation.

If none of these things are causing your distress, it is possible that you need to see a professional to deal with your personal issues.

Good luck!



I don’t think a pill will solve my FSDD…

Sadly for you, I am returning to a topic I touched upon in my post last week that insisted there was nothing wrong with us women regarding sexual health, no matter how different we all are to each other.

The issue has become controversial because of the opposing views of several sides for and against labelling women’s sexual issues as female sexual dysfunction disorder.

Many are wondering whether the disorder is a “dream” of big pharmaceutical companies who are hoping to make money off of a female version of viagra.

There is a lot of debate about whether female sexual problems should be made into medical problems, and concerns have been raised about incorrect prescriptions made and women assessed along lines too similar to those used to diagnose erectile dysfunction in men.

My argument is that for women, enjoying sex is not just a physical thing. As my lover often tells me, he could easily sleep with another woman and his feelings would never get in the way. But sex is something completely different for women: there are feelings involved; there’s a certain amount of compassion and need involved; we feel as though we need to be closer to someone.

Men are sometimes really only interested in relief.

I heard a lovely description of the female orgasm once – it isn’t as simple as rubbing the right spot:

– the woman is intrigued by the man of her desire, appealing to her mind;

– she is pleased with what she sees, appealing to her eyes; she savours his scent, appealing to her nose;

– she feels his lips on hers and tastes him, appealing to her mouth and throat;

– his nearness causes her heart to flutter; the trust she has just shown him enters her solar plexus;

– she becomes hungry for him; she feels a connection to his genetics as her polar opposite through her loins; and

– finally her orgasm reaches through her base to shoot up her spine and through her spirit.

Do you think the problem of not having an orgasm is purely physical then?  Do you think it could be solved with a little pink pill?

Perhaps the symptoms could be, but then we’d just be men.

Photo by vichie81 from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There’s nothing wrong with you!


From Dreamstime

Pharmaceutical companies are joining gynaecologists and general physicians in calling for a drug to treat Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD). The call comes as many of the physicians were not pleased with the treatments available for Hypoactive Sexual Disorder, loss of libido or sexual desire.

I’d just like to say, please don’t be too concerned about this!

The problem with Western medicine is that it treats the symptoms rather than the cause. So although the drugs will give you a greater libido or sexual desire or whatever it is you are apparently lacking, this treatment is not natural and will not deal with the source of the problem!

These companies are also implying that a lack of libido is a bad thing that needs to be treated. So if you don’t feel like having sex there’s something wrong with you.

You have to remember that no one knows your body better than you do. If you feel that having a low sexual desire is because something is wrong, it is likely that there is something wrong, but taking something to rectify the symptom is not going to rectify the fact that you’re tired, or stressed, or fatigued due to lack of exercise or poor diet, or because of any number of other reasons.

Another important thing to remember is that everyone is different! Your sexual desire might not be the same as someone else’s, but big pharma would love for you to feel insecure about your libido. You’ll be paying them for the pills, and they’ll be clicking their heels to the bank.